How Many REAL Friends Do You Have?

As I was talking with someone earlier today that I considered a friend, I realized that I may be using the term "friend" to loosely. Would this person come running if I needed help at home? Would she offer to help me out in any way? If I were in a crisis could I count on her to be there? Could I trust her with my deepest thoughts and feelings? Probably not. We can LOL all day long, hang out occasionally, blah blah blah, but at the end of the day could I count on her for anything else? Nope!

So, what exactly is a friend? When I pondered this question over and over in my mind I realized that "she" is not a friend, but merely an associate. She is someone I laugh with, occasionally hang out with, share family stories with, but just an associate. Is that harsh to say? Or is it just being honest? I think that a lot of times we call people our friends who are not really our friends. We use the term "friend" without having a second thought about what we are truly saying. We even introduce people as our "friend(s) that are just people we are associated with. Would it be rude to introduce someone as your associate? Hmmm. Or is it just politically correct to say "Hey this is my friend!"? I think that's what most of us have grown accustomed to.

As I thought more about this I realized that I only have 3 REAL friends. Yea I talk to lots of people almost everyday, my contact list in my cell is at an all time high. They all have different traits and characteristics, and I may be able to tell one something that I wouldn't tell the other. Yet, they are just associates.

Out of my 3 REAL friends I realize that I can share the same things with each of them. I have no fear of judgement, no reason to believe my thoughts and feelings are being shared with others without my knowledge, no bearing witness to snarky sarcastic remarks (that I have been doing oh so well at ignoring what I have dubbed "foolishness")....I have been biting my tongue extremely well being that I am an outspoken person. With my REAL friends though, I don't have to bite my tongue. There is no reason to. I can just be me, and fully me. What are your thoughts? Do you use the term "friend" too loosely? How many REAL friends do you have?

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There is a new blog on the block.....

There is a new blog on the block. Yes I am new on the block too and I hope I don't go into foreclosure soon, but http://4quartersofamother.blogspot.com/ is where Mandeek makes me smile almost daily! She adds a humerous touch to my day as I read about her life, and I look forward to continuous reading of her blog. So, Mandeek this is to you...my Mandeek Monday so to speak hehe. Keep making me smile.

Feel free to follow her and I am sure she will return the favor. Happy reading!

Military Wives and Depression

I started thinking about this topic earlier this week after speaking with a few military wives. I have been a military spouse for over 7 years. I have seen tons of soldiers, mostly those that have been deployed to a war zone, be diagnosed with

sleep disorders, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental health conditions. I am sure this number will likely continue to increase being that we are fighting multiple wars. I know that the Army, and I'm sure other branches of the military, have started to take notice and have implemented programs and services for soldiers to get counseling and deal with their issues. But where does this leave the spouses?

I have met lots of military spouses, even through forums on websites created to establish a network of moms/wives and girlfriends/fiances in the military community. I have noticed that lots of them have to take meds while coping with a deployment, or multiple deployments, or some other issues that have come to a head in their lives via the military. Yes, we all have issues in our marriages, some big some small. But if you are a civilian and have never lived the military life, trust me, you have no idea. Out of the seven years of my marriage my husband has been gone for about 4 years! Although, I have not had to take meds to deal with his abscence during those times, I can see how many people have to. Taking on ALL things "husbandy" for a year to 15 months in some cases, and suddenly turning into MIGHTY MOM can put a lot of stress on a person. Also, coupled with uprooting your family from one foreign place to another every 3 or so years, in my current case, overseas in Hawaii, with no family and having to make friends all over again is a big stressor. I know that there is sometimes a stigma associated with a soldier who seeks mental health treatment so I imagine that may be the case when the spouse seeks treatment.

I have decided to do some research on this subject for a future post to discover resources that are currently available for military spouses who are having to go through this difficult journey. If you know of some resources please feel free to share them with me, even anonymously if you choose. Also, if you are a military spouse going through this I would love to talk to you about your experience. Feel free to comment!

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Facebook Games.....New Drug of Choice?

I know we've all been bombarded with drink requests, food fights, gift requests, etc via facebook. It seems like whenever I log on to the social networking site my sidebar is full of these. I'm not a big gamer, although I occasionally play a game here and there. It seems like a lot of my FB famalam are going overboard though. This means that my home page is littered with how many lonely bulls someone found on Farmville or the new stillettos someone received from a sorority sister. I'm not complaining, but hmmmm.... This got me thinking. Are some people addicted to these Facebook games? How often do you play games on facebook? Is it affecting your time management? Do you think you could have an addiction?

Mom versus Supermom

Okay. We've all had those days when the kids are trying out for cirque de soleil, you have to create a pathway just to walk through your living room without being beheaded from tripping over your kids' toys, you have to cook dinner, you have to work, you have to clean, blah blah blah. And of course, you have to find time to blog hehe. But, you just want a breather. I have had a few of those days recently, but my husband was so kind enough as to let me "do me!" I got a pedicure, did some shopping FOR ME woo hooo, and just relaxed. It was well worth it. I must admit I felt kinda strange walking in the store without kids. I kept looking around thinking that I forgot a child lol. So...take off your supermommy hat and find some time for you. When was the last time you had time to yourself?

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