As I was talking with someone earlier today that I considered a friend, I realized that I may be using the term "friend" to loosely. Would this person come running if I needed help at home? Would she offer to help me out in any way? If I were in a crisis could I count on her to be there? Could I trust her with my deepest thoughts and feelings? Probably not. We can LOL all day long, hang out occasionally, blah blah blah, but at the end of the day could I count on her for anything else? Nope!
So, what exactly is a friend? When I pondered this question over and over in my mind I realized that "she" is not a friend, but merely an associate. She is someone I laugh with, occasionally hang out with, share family stories with, but just an associate. Is that harsh to say? Or is it just being honest? I think that a lot of times we call people our friends who are not really our friends. We use the term "friend" without having a second thought about what we are truly saying. We even introduce people as our "friend(s) that are just people we are associated with. Would it be rude to introduce someone as your associate? Hmmm. Or is it just politically correct to say "Hey this is my friend!"? I think that's what most of us have grown accustomed to.
As I thought more about this I realized that I only have 3 REAL friends. Yea I talk to lots of people almost everyday, my contact list in my cell is at an all time high. They all have different traits and characteristics, and I may be able to tell one something that I wouldn't tell the other. Yet, they are just associates.
Out of my 3 REAL friends I realize that I can share the same things with each of them. I have no fear of judgement, no reason to believe my thoughts and feelings are being shared with others without my knowledge, no bearing witness to snarky sarcastic remarks (that I have been doing oh so well at ignoring what I have dubbed "foolishness")....I have been biting my tongue extremely well being that I am an outspoken person. With my REAL friends though, I don't have to bite my tongue. There is no reason to. I can just be me, and fully me. What are your thoughts? Do you use the term "friend" too loosely? How many REAL friends do you have?
I can easily say that my "friends" are in the single digits. I am OH so perfectly OK with that. I have a lot of "acquaintances," but friends are another story. The friends I have are FABULOUS.
ReplyDeletethats awesome noel...same here!
ReplyDeleteI have very few friends as I have grown older. You get to know who has your back and who is ready to stab you in the back! Most of my best friends are from the blog world, no joke! It works for me :)
ReplyDeleteI used to use the terms friends loosely as well. And, like Noel said... I realized they were more like acquaintances.
ReplyDeleteI would like to think I have a small handfull of "friends" :0)
I so agree with u guys...especially as you get older like Sheliza said...seems like the number gets smaller and smaller
ReplyDeleteI did a blog post on this a little while back. Ii know I do not have many friends I can count on, but I believe there to be many degrees of friendship, as well. Good Point! ;)
ReplyDeleteStephanie,
ReplyDeleteYou made some really good points, and I feel the same way as you do. We get so caught up in using the word friend and often forget the true meaning behind it. I also only have maybe a handful of people that I would actually call a "TRUE FRIENDS." I just feel that everyone is put into our lives for a reason; therefore, those people who we may not consider a friend now may definitley be a lifelong friend in the future. Enjoyed your post!!