Invisible People TV

Imagine having little or no money.....Imagine living under a bridge, in abandoned buildings, and constantly moving from shelter to shelter....Imagine using a cardboard box for cover....Imagine having no shield from the outside elements....Imagine having no home....

I was researching the plight of homelessness as it relates to military vets and came across this wonderful blog, Invisiblepeople.tv. My husband and I spent about two hours on it; reading and listening to the stories of people of all different backgrounds who ended up on the streets. Some of them are alone, with a spouse or partner, and some of them are homeless with their children. Most of them lived normal lives like you and I, and one circumstance changed everything. After visiting the site I realized that on the days when I complain about "little" things, it could never compare to being homeless.

Invisiblepeople.tv is traveling across the country to capture the stories of people without a home. By visiting tent cities, motels, and other modern-day accomodations for people without a home, this tour will unearth the modern-day realities of homelessness while providing a venue for "invisible" people to tell their story, raw and unedited. (Invisiblepeople.tv)

Feel free to subscribe to the site, follow them on twitter, myspace, facebook, or youtube.

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Wordless Wednesday

The Greatest Casualty is Being Forgotten

I know firsthand all too well what the effects of war can do to a soldier. I have seen so many people in the military community deal with the physical and psychological aspects of war, and it is often left unspoken of. Countless numbers of soldiers deal with PTSD and TBI. Some even come home missing limbs. Many times they don't have a voice to advocate on their behalf and miss out on great opportunities for themselves and their families.

I recently came across a wonderful resource called The Wounded Warrior Project. According to their website, their mission is to honor and empower wonded warriors, raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of severely injured service members and assist each other, and to provide unique, direct programs and services to meet the needs of severely injured service members.

The Wounded Warrior Project provides countless programs including benefits counseling, caregivers retreats, coping/family services, warriors to work, peer mentoring and so much more.

One of the most intriguing programs is Soldier Ride, which is a rehabilitative cycling event designed to challenge wounded warriors who deal with the physical and mental wounds of war. Check them out on the Soldier Ride Blog, their facebook fan page, and twitter. You can also lend your support here and 10% of the proceeds support their cause.

You can also follow The Wounded Warrior Project on Facebook.

I plan to highlight some of these amazing organizations in the future!

I am Leading a Double Life

It never ceases to amaze me how little civilian people tend to relate to my military experience as a spouse. I have witnessed the most offhanded comments, which I now attribute to lack of knowledge or someone just really not knowing what to say. I have been married to the army for seven years. Out of those seven years, that little mistress has taken my husband away from me for about four years. During those times when he is gone I have gone through a range of emotions. Sadness, confusion, pride, loneliness, bitterness........But, recently I have found myself missing the single life. Not the single life of not being married, but the single life of being married while being single. Does that make sense?

Don't get me wrong, I love when my husband is at home, away from the dangerous confines of war and working 18 hours a day. But I do miss my single time. You know those times when I can just pig out on Baskin Robbins and leave the container by the recliner cuz I feel like it. Or not having to cook a well-balanced meal Sunday through Thursday cuz my soldier is coming home hungry after a long day's work or he is just hungry period! Or feeding my anxiety and loneliness by giving Ross or Target an extra $50 that I know I should tuck away for something more important, but I'm an Army wife so I can do whatever I want while my husband is fighting for our freedom and I am feeling crappy at home alone. Or leaving the bed unmade cuz I wanna crash on it when I feel like it and will mess it back up anyway. Or not doing laundry and letting 4 loads build on top of one another cuz I don't have ACU's to wash so I really don't care at that point. Or having all the televisions to myself with the DVR's set to Property Virgins, The View, Ellen, Chelsea Lately, Oprah and all the other shows my hubby doesn't care to watch.

Sounds like I'm lazy now that I have reread it but that's hardly the case, believe me. I guess its a way of dealing with my emotions, those emotions that most women won't ever get to experience on the same level as I have. Whatever the case, I do miss it. Selfish? Maybe. I dunno. What do you think?


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Nothing Can Be Salvaged. I am Doomed!

We've all been there. Myself more than once...more than a few times actually. In a few short minutes everything can literally be destroyed. What you worked so hard to get is now gone! It's useless. Nothing you can do, in most cases, can ever bring it back. You stand there in utter disbelief wondering how you could have let this happen, holding the remnants of what once was in your hands. This time it was no fault of my own. It was his fault. Yep! My husband did it. He ruined the laundry!

He was just trying to help out. This isn't the first time he has ruined my mommy wardrobe though, so I should have known better than to entrust him with my minimal garments. Hey I don't have lots of clothes, especially to throw away!

The pic below shows a few pieces I care to share out of a large load of laundry. It's just too painful to take a picture of all at once. Yes it hurts that much hehe. Out of that load of laundry everything is speckled with green dots from a permanent marker left in one of the pockets of his ACU's. The entire load kind of looks like the leftovers you'd find in the street after a Mardi Gras Parade. The pic does not do it justice though. Since I posted it you can barely see the green stains, but trust me they're there. They're EVERYWHERE!

So, lesson learned here. Check the pockets of everyone's clothing thoroughly, even before my husband does the laundry! Or be prepared to get rid of most of your wardrobe.

If anyone knows of a way the clothes can be salvaged please let me know. I'm not sure Clorox can fix this one.

MyMomfessions Monday with Army Wife 101 and Giveaway

Since we PCS'd to Hawaii two years ago, I have seen many people come and leave. I am used to it now. The military life causes you to become somewhat numb to the friendships you create. Not in a bad way. It's just that you know pretty soon you will be leaving, or your friends will be leaving before you. You have to prepare yourself to have long-distance relationships, and hope that one day you will see those friends again. Maybe even live on the same base or city as them. Rare. But it could happen.

I met Krystel, Army Wife 101, on a website called Hawaiimomslikeme. Usually people send you a message and you correspond for a while, maybe even meet, but then lose touch. Krystel sent me a message and I thought it was prob one of those messgaes I had received time and time again. "Hey how are ya! I'm so and so and would love to get to know you better. Maybe we can meet up with the kiddos and have a playdate?! Hope to talk to you soon!" I don't remember the verbage of her message, but I did respond and she responded back in a few hours. We talked on the phone for a few days and finally I went to her house on base for chat and lunch that consisted of pizza, chicken wings, and salad. The rest is history. Although there have been gaps in our communication, we have kept in touch. When she told me about creating a blog I had no idea what she was talking about. Now, I have one lol.

If you haven't been to her website yet, you have to visit. We had a very candid interview at Starbucks while we sipped on our Grande White Chocolate Mocha Latte's with lowfat milk and whipped cream. With that being said, I am more than excited to share more about her with you! There is also an awesome giveaway!!!

1. Describe yourself in 3 words. Calm, Cool, Informed

2. What trait to you like the most about yourself? I like the fact that I am a giver. I like doing for others, especially when it comes to helping other military spouses.

3. Do you have a motto? My motto has to be my favorite quote ever, even though it's popular. "Do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option."

4. How long has your husband been in the military? My husband spent 8 years as a marine and 4 years in the Army. He is currently on his second deployment.

5. How is this deployment different from the first? Well for one, it's shorter. The first deployment was 15 months, this deployment is only 12. Secondly, I didn't understand what to expect with the first deployment. I was scared, stressed mentally and physically, I stayed home most of the time, and was overcome with loneliness and anxiety. This time around I have the worries of any other normal military wife with a spouse deployed overseas. I also get to talk to my husband more this time around.

6. Why did you decide to start Army Wife 101? The idea started when my husband was on his first deployment. My cousin suggested that I start a deployment blog. We were already into his fourth month of deployment, so I figured it might be pointless. I was moderating a few military spouse forums online and for some reason seemed to be the go-to person for all things military when people had questions. So I figured hey, why don't I just answer their questions without them having to flip through pages and pages of books and magazines related to the military. So I started to blog.

7. What would be your ideal project to work on with Army Wife 101? My ideal project would be to work with Michelle Obama. I think that she could do a lot for military spouses to help bring an awareness to things that are going on in our lives. While people go about their day doing their normal everyday routines, our soldiers are defending our country so that they can enjoy those very freedoms. I think she can help make people more aware of what miltary spouses sacrifice everyday, especially during deployments.

8. Where do you see the future of Army Wife 101? I see the future of Army Wife 101 growing into an international site in the sense of conus and oconus. I want it to be a community where military spouses can share what we all endure on a daily basis.

9. Do you have any advice for miltary spouses whose other half has deployed or is deploying? Be patient. Be supportive. Know that just because your other half hasn't called you for a few days doesn't mean that they don't want to. Don't be afraid to show your feelings. Make sure you have all of your paperwork in order.

10. Any advice for spouses who have PCS'd or looking to PCS soon? Stay on top of things. Research what you don't know about your new duty station. Prep your house months ahead of time. Throw away things you don't need and get organized.

Any other thoughts? Google is your friend, but Army Wife 101 is your BEST FRIEND!

GIVEAWAY CLOSED: WINNER IS GERRY. CONGRATS! BLOGGER IS ACTING UP SO I WILL POST SCREENSHOT OF RANDOM.ORG WHEN IT LETS ME.

*GIVEAWAY* Krystel, aka Army Wife 101 has some fave snacks and you get to win them! Thats right, you get to win a package that includes one of each: NaturesValley Sweet and Salty Almond Bars and Nut Clusters, French Onion Sun Chips, Sour Cream and Onion Pringles, Nacho Doritos, and Honey Roasted Cashews. Plus a $5 Target gift Card!

Mandatory: Follow me publicly on my site from an authentic site or blog.

I must have a way to contact you. Please leave your email address!

For Extra Entries:

Follow me on Facebook and tell what your fave snack is. (1 extra entry)

Follow me on Twitter and tweet about giveaway...can be done once a day for extra entries...please come back to my Facebook fan page and post your tweet with your twitter name so I can find it ...you can post

Win an Army Wife 101 Snack Pack and a $5 Target Gift Card from mymomfessionshttp://www.mymomfessions.com/2010/03/mymomfessions-monday-with-army-wife-101.html

Follow Army Wife 101 on Twitter and tweet about the giveaway...can be done once a day for extra entries...please come back to my Facebook fan page and post your tweet with your twitter name so I can find it

(1 tweet per day=2 entries per day). List a separate entry for each tweet.

Follow Army Wife 101 on her blog (1 entry)

Giveaway ends March 19, 2010 5am EST. GOOD LUCK!

If you would like to be featured on MyMomfessions Monday email me at stephanie@mymomfessions.com with MyMomfessions Monday as the title.

How Many REAL Friends Do You Have?

As I was talking with someone earlier today that I considered a friend, I realized that I may be using the term "friend" to loosely. Would this person come running if I needed help at home? Would she offer to help me out in any way? If I were in a crisis could I count on her to be there? Could I trust her with my deepest thoughts and feelings? Probably not. We can LOL all day long, hang out occasionally, blah blah blah, but at the end of the day could I count on her for anything else? Nope!

So, what exactly is a friend? When I pondered this question over and over in my mind I realized that "she" is not a friend, but merely an associate. She is someone I laugh with, occasionally hang out with, share family stories with, but just an associate. Is that harsh to say? Or is it just being honest? I think that a lot of times we call people our friends who are not really our friends. We use the term "friend" without having a second thought about what we are truly saying. We even introduce people as our "friend(s) that are just people we are associated with. Would it be rude to introduce someone as your associate? Hmmm. Or is it just politically correct to say "Hey this is my friend!"? I think that's what most of us have grown accustomed to.

As I thought more about this I realized that I only have 3 REAL friends. Yea I talk to lots of people almost everyday, my contact list in my cell is at an all time high. They all have different traits and characteristics, and I may be able to tell one something that I wouldn't tell the other. Yet, they are just associates.

Out of my 3 REAL friends I realize that I can share the same things with each of them. I have no fear of judgement, no reason to believe my thoughts and feelings are being shared with others without my knowledge, no bearing witness to snarky sarcastic remarks (that I have been doing oh so well at ignoring what I have dubbed "foolishness")....I have been biting my tongue extremely well being that I am an outspoken person. With my REAL friends though, I don't have to bite my tongue. There is no reason to. I can just be me, and fully me. What are your thoughts? Do you use the term "friend" too loosely? How many REAL friends do you have?

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Military lifts ban on Social Networking Sites

Sesame Street Live

My husband and I were brave enough to conquer Sesame Street Live with a 4 year old and a 7 month old. It was brought to our military base via the USO Experience for Military Families. What an awesome experience! Besides waiting for over an hour to get inside, because I am definitely an early bird when it comes to these types of events, my children loved it! The USO (United Service Organizations) has been offering this free traveling tour featuring some America’s favorite Muppets, and we all know that Elmo is like all the free candy in the world to most toddlers.

They sang songs with positive themes that addressed feelings, missing a parent during deployment, etc. They gave every child a free elmo toy and had free dvd's and reading materials for parents to share with their children to ease the stress and anxiety of deployment. There were also activities before and after the shows, and the children were able to meet the characters. For the past two years the USO have traveled throughout the US and Europe at more than 64 military installations. You can visit their Sesame Street/USO Experience photo album and their website for more information on the USO.

Military Wives and Depression

I started thinking about this topic earlier this week after speaking with a few military wives. I have been a military spouse for over 7 years. I have seen tons of soldiers, mostly those that have been deployed to a war zone, be diagnosed with

sleep disorders, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental health conditions. I am sure this number will likely continue to increase being that we are fighting multiple wars. I know that the Army, and I'm sure other branches of the military, have started to take notice and have implemented programs and services for soldiers to get counseling and deal with their issues. But where does this leave the spouses?

I have met lots of military spouses, even through forums on websites created to establish a network of moms/wives and girlfriends/fiances in the military community. I have noticed that lots of them have to take meds while coping with a deployment, or multiple deployments, or some other issues that have come to a head in their lives via the military. Yes, we all have issues in our marriages, some big some small. But if you are a civilian and have never lived the military life, trust me, you have no idea. Out of the seven years of my marriage my husband has been gone for about 4 years! Although, I have not had to take meds to deal with his abscence during those times, I can see how many people have to. Taking on ALL things "husbandy" for a year to 15 months in some cases, and suddenly turning into MIGHTY MOM can put a lot of stress on a person. Also, coupled with uprooting your family from one foreign place to another every 3 or so years, in my current case, overseas in Hawaii, with no family and having to make friends all over again is a big stressor. I know that there is sometimes a stigma associated with a soldier who seeks mental health treatment so I imagine that may be the case when the spouse seeks treatment.

I have decided to do some research on this subject for a future post to discover resources that are currently available for military spouses who are having to go through this difficult journey. If you know of some resources please feel free to share them with me, even anonymously if you choose. Also, if you are a military spouse going through this I would love to talk to you about your experience. Feel free to comment!

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My Trip(s) to Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor is the most visited attraction on the island of Oahu. Of the

many things to see and do here, this has been one of my faves. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a BIG history buff. I taught fifth grade history and luv luv loved it! So when we arrived here on the island this was on the top of my list of places to visit.

This is my husband and I with our oldest daughter in 2007 (before we even knew there would be a daughter #2). A lovely tourist took this snapshot, probably after feeling sorry for my husband and I taking turns with my Kodak cam.

One of my good friends came to visit last April and I took her there also. It brought her to tears.

This is my mom and sis with my daughter in January 2010. They enjoyed it! My whole fam loves history.

So yes, I have gone 3 times total, and honestly, it didn't get old. The fact that I am into culture and history played a role as well as being a military wife. Knowing that my husband has put his life on the line several times, recently returning home from Iraq after being injured, definitely put this place into perspective for me. This is a rare treasure, yet somber. Knowing that hundreds of men were entombed below me weighed heavily on my heart. Our soldiers put their lives on the line everyday for our freedom no matter where they are, and I was more than honored to pay my respects to those who lost their lives at Pearl Harbor. If you are ever able to come to Oahu, this is definitely a site to visit.

Wordless Wednesday

I live in Hawaii so it's still Wednesday (night) here hehe. This is Bellows Beach one of my fave places on the island!